I PASSED...at least I'm pretty sure I did!

I took my Praxis II today.  For those of you that do not know what the Praxis is it a series of tests two tests that you have to take in order to become a licensed professional (I like the sound of that!) The first one you take is supposed to be before you enter your education classes or get too far into them.  The second one is usually taken right before student teaching or during the beginning of your student teaching.  Of course I put it off as long as I could as I strongly dislike standardized tests, or any test taking where I'm timed and have to fill in a bubble.  Where I live you have two different tests that you can take and you have to get a certain score in order to be recommended for licensure.  So I have been studying the last two days relearning terms and becoming acquainted with topics and strategies that I have learned over the last three or so years.  Let me tell you I was pretty nervous, alright that is a lie I was really nervous, beyond nervous! 

I get to the testing place and immediately my hands start sweating.  As I am checking in I am told I need to read a piece of paper because I am new, and then I have to write a paragraph in cursive.  Not only am I nervous and hands sweating, but they want me to write a paragraph in what?  CURSIVE!  They probably took one look at the handwriting and couldn't believe I was taking a test in order to get a license to become a teacher!  After nervously scribbling the paragraph I got my picture taken, and was escorted into the testing center.  I sat down went through the general information and started the test.  The first section was intimidating to me.  I was reading the questions trying to answer them, but I felt like it was written in another language.  I would guess at some of the questions, and of course I feel like I marked the first 10 questions to make sure I would go back and check them over.  At this point anxiety kicked in I was breathing a little heavy, and I felt as though I didn't know anything on the test.  I felt like I was going to cry...I know I'm a baby.  Anyone who knew me when I was younger will agree to this statement as I cried at everything!  I told myself to calm down that I know the information, and I can do this.  I took a few deep breaths and kept going.  After I was finished reviewing my answers and making sure I answered all of the questions I hit finish and report scores.  I felt as though I had to hit report scores five different times before it gave me my final score.  It told me I got a 177!  Well above what I needed to pass.  I logged off the computer exited the room, and gave a big sigh of relief.  It most of been comical to the people working as they laughed at me after I did it.  I called my mom to tell her I had passed...ok I lied and told her I didn't when I really did, and then told her the awesome news!  After I was done talking with her I took off driving to my grandparents and I got to thinking, was it really 177 or 117?  I started to freak out, and I kept telling myself that it was 177.  So as soon as I could I logged onto my account to see if my scores had been posted...of course not.   They won't be posted for at least another week or two, and people say we live in an age of technology.  I took the test on a computer, and you can't put my score online for another week or two???  I'm 99.999999999999999999999% positive it said 177, but my stupid conscious is saying my eyes lied to me. 

So until I see it on the computer I will still think I haven't completely passed...stupid mind screwing with me!  But I guess I now know how my sister and mom feel when they constantly go back to make sure the iron is unplugged or the door is locked.  Well now that I have exhausted my brain over this test I can exhaust it a little more with job applications :)